Life showed me to slow down
Life showed me to slow down
A learn-in-progress, a path of continuous evolution, growth, and transformation
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portrait from Laura Wencker
Useful information
〰️ My first ever retreat is launched. From 10-12th of May we are gathering together in Portugal during three days. I will be guiding you through daily rituals, coaching time and space with exercises and dynamics in group, journaling prompts and tools for you to bring home and live and feel better from an authentic place, both topics we will working through the whole weekend. Here you can see all the details and also access to bookings. If you want to read it in Spanish, see it here. The retreat will be in Spanish&English.
Life has shown me millions of times how important it is to slow down and in certain moments, it has forced me to do so because it seemed I was not listening.
Life has been teaching me over and over because, for years, I seemed not to be learning all the lessons.
I guess I was not listening or paying attention.
I thought it was nothing to be with me.
Because I was a “runner”.
And a “runner” in terms of a pusher, hustler, stressed person.
Yes, I was and I’m not proud of admitting it but I’ve been most of my life in that position.
Running always to have everything done, ready, perfect, solved.
And while I was pushing myself that hard, another inside voice in me was praying for slowness.
I know I learned to be that woman for a matter of survival from a very young age.
And since then, until I became conscious enough to change, I have driven my life from that place. Still, many times because it’s been my whole life conditioning and strategy and we need time to reprogramme.
For years, to be fully honest, I was satisfied with being the one able to tick all the things from my to-do list and being/feeling like “a superwoman”. (Here I question you and myself, what does it mean to be a superwoman?)
Pushing so much until I burned out. A few times actually, personally and professionally.
You can listen here to some solo podcasts I recorded talking about it (they are in Spanish, I’m preparing myself to start soon recording the podcast in English).
Ep. 24 de Slow Talks, El balance entre empujar y soltar
Ep. 36 de Slow Talks, Nuestra relación con el descanso y cómo transformarla
But how many times do we need to feel extremely forced by an external source to stop, slow down, and move differently?
What’s the reason why we are running all the time?
To reach where?
To do what?
To feel how?
And how do we end up, at the end?
Completely broken and stressed.
“We often run to please others.
The heroine woman acts efficiently and when she feels uncomfortable, she looks for new challenges: new title, project, job, move... she placates the feeling of emptiness by looking for new heroic acts and achievements.
Living in an obsessive need to always be busy and productive protects her from loss. She achieved everything but may have lost her soul, cut off from her inner world for fear of not being enough.
Whatever she does and however she does it. She responds from inner lack”
Maureen Murdock
LIFE SHOWED ME TO SLOW DOWN
And it keeps showing me to do that daily, weekly, regularly.
When I say life, I mean people, experiences, situations…
I keep learning every single day.
Because I invited myself into the other side and I’m more fluid, flexible, and calmed…
But sometimes, the old energies appear again (we need to repeat and repeat the new patterns as much as possible so we build new neural pathways) and I suddenly find myself involved in so many things that I need to work on, solve or arrange, which leads me to stress.
But with consciousness, being mindful, being in the observer position, and knowing your patterns, you can catch yourself faster and you can work on the situation with the tools and solutions you embodied through internal work.
Also, another thing that I observed is that most of the time, I’m the one who’s running but nobody else around is doing it. Let me give you some examples:
When I worked years ago creating content for others and as a storyteller, I always met my deadlines so I always delivered my texts on time, no matter what. Sometimes, I needed to push myself to be on time but then, I saw how my texts didn’t show up on my client’s website until months later because the programmer was delayed or any other reason.
Hundreds of times as well I’ve been running to be on time for an appointment, rushing myself hard, and then, the other person is late or canceling at the last minute…
I'M NOT LATE ANYWHERE
I HAVE TIME
THERE’S NO NEED TO RUSH AND PUSH
With these 2 examples, I see how life is showing me that there’s no need to pressure ourselves that much. THERE’S NO REASON.
So I learned seeing others' behaviors,
seeing how things unfold and happen,
how in fact, nothing happens when life goes late or slower or in a different rhythm.
And it is beneficial for people like me (us) who need to go slow but for some conditioning, we’ve been forced to move unnaturally for us. We need to see to believe.
See that nothing happens. You can slow down.
Give yourself permission.
So with all that said, please, be mindful of yourself.
Check your way of doing and living and especially how you pressure and urge yourself.
Be nice, loving, and gentle with you.
Ask for more time if needed, say no to things, and let yourself be late for the sack of your health if that’s what you need.
Check yourself first before trying to please the external world and also, revisit your definition of superwoman, success, and duty.
We will definitely be exploring this at the retreat, we do that on a regular basis at Dentro Studio and of course we work it on 1:1 sessions. Check the options below.
Hope that helps you to slow down and live more mindfully.
With love,
Anna
WORK WITH ME
You can see my coaching and therapy proposals in English here
In Spanish, all in here:
my online membership Dentro Studio - a private space in community for your growth and expansion. Proposals and tools to work on you (workshops, journaling exercises, yoga, meditation, breathwork, etc).